Traveling to Ethiopia

Pam ~ Thursday morning, August 9, 2012, we woke up at 2:45 a.m. and got ourselves ready to head to the airport. A friend had sacrificially volunteered to come pick us up at 4:15 a.m. ("Thanks, Will!!!") and we were surprisingly ready when he got there.

Nate ~ It was kind of funny actually. The night before, we had prepared ourselves to be up until crazy hours of the night, but then we were basically done by about 8 PM. Then, then the next morning we were ready with enough time that we were nervous that too much was being forgotten. In the end, we never felt like anything major was left at home so that was a blessing.

We checked our four bags in at the counter, but questioned the lady when the bags were tagged to go to Dulles Airport in Washington D.C. Our travel agent had said that the bags would be check through to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. When I asked, the lady said that because we were in D.C. for 24 hours, the bags would not be held for us and we would need to pick them up. That worried me. How were we supposed to pick up our four checked bags, along with our total of four carry-on bags and haul all of them on a shuttle bus to the hotel where we would be staying in D.C.??? In my head I said, "Simple, we won't." I had no idea what we would do, but I knew that taking the luggage and totes to the hotel was not much of an option to me. 

The first two flights went as scheduled. We flew from Des Moines to Chicago, then from Chicago to Washington D.C.

When we arrived in D.C., Nathan called our travel agent, Kari, and told her the issue we had with our bags. She was awesome!!!! To make a long story short, she told us to go to the Ethiopian Airlines baggage office, they sent us to a different baggage office, and a nice lady told us she would keep our bags for us and lock them in her office overnight. What a blessing!!!!!! Truly, this was a blessing but it also made me nervous. She didn't take our names down nothing. Just a promise that in the morning we would see her and she would recognize us. To say the least, my trust meter wasn't very high. 

Nathan called our hotel to ask about the shuttle van, we waited for just over a half hour for the shuttle to arrive, rode to the hotel, waited until our room was ready, walked to a convenience store to get some lunch (from Des Moines to the hotel - it was just after lunchtime), were lazy for the afternoon, ordered in a pizza, went to bed early, slept well, and got up early to eat breakfast at the hotel and head to the airport. As we post here now and in the following posts about our trip you are going to start seeing a trend towards pizza. In my defense, in Dulles, I had no idea that I would be so nervous and apprehensive that not much Ethiopian food was going to sit well. (They spice their food very heavily.) Anyway, just a note: look for pizza references!

We weren't sure exactly how long it was going to take us to find the office where we had left our luggage, pick up our luggage, and check the luggage to Addis, so we wanted to have plenty of time. And we did!!!! Crazy enough, she DID recognize us and gave us our luggage without any problems. Trust renewed and my stress levels decreased just a little bit.

It didn't take us long at all to get our luggage picked up and checked in at Ethiopian Air, and then we headed to our gate. We were there PLENTY early and were able to sit and wait. And stand up and wait. And use the restroom and wait. Lots of waiting!!!!! (and waiting and waiting and waiting....I'm not impatient about things as long as I don't have to wait!)

It was finally time to board the plane and we walked on, hoping that it would be easy to switch seats with someone so that we could sit together for the 13 1/2 hour flight. That worked out fine and we got as comfortable as we could for the long flight.

It WAS long!!!!! (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG)

Neither Nathan or I were able to sleep (I rested a little bit), although we tried, and jumping seven hours ahead of D.C. time (eight hours ahead of Iowa time) really messed with our body clock. We arrived in Addis around 8 a.m. local time (midnight on our bodies), walked off the plane, stood in line to get our visas, went through immigration (I couldn't find the address of the guesthouse where we would be staying and I felt very flustered as I scrambled through my backpack trying to find it; needless to say, I will have that address in my pocket when we go back!!!!!), waited for our luggage to arrive on the carousel, exchanged USD for Ethiopian Birr, went through customs (which ended up being SUPER easy for us, praise the Lord!!!!) and looked for someone holding a sign that would tell us they were there to pick us up. (Love you, Yonas...but we didn't see you!)

As we were on the airplane in D.C. and getting ready to leave, I noticed a family get on and told Nathan that I "thought" I knew who they were. I had been e-mailing with someone from our adoption agency who had the same court date as us, and I thought that it might be them :-). Because I wasn't confident, and because I am often too "shy", I didn't say anything. But when we got off the plane and loaded onto the shuttle that took us from the plane to the airport in Addis, I made eye contact with her and she said "Are you Pam???" Silly me. We could have talked on the plane if I had just said something!!!!!

So, once we had our luggage and went through customs in Addis, we waited for the Haskins family to join us in waiting for our ride.

We had been told that sometimes the drivers are not allowed inside the airport, but then sometimes they are :-). If we didn't see anyone holding a sign that said "AWAA" we were to walk outside the airport, turn to our right, walk down a hill that would lead to the parking lot, and look for our driver there.

Our very white and out-of-place group drew lots of attention as we tried to find where we needed to go. A lady from an office that said "Tourism" asked us if we needed her to call someone for us :-).

Another long story made shorter ~ Nathan and our new friend, Dan Haskins, walked all around the parking lot looking for someone who was there for us. (By the way - The American-ness that was Dan and I was very clear here as we were CONSTANTLY asked if we needed a taxi. In fact, if someone heard us say no to someone else, they must have thought it was still an option because they would just ask us too.) Becky, their two children, and I stood around looking out of place. When Dan and Nathan came back, we decided that someone needed to go back to the airport and have the nice "tourism" lady call our agency. Dan headed towards the airport, and, just then, we saw an Ethiopian man coming our way with a sign that said AWAA :-). He had been there the entire time, but we had somehow missed him!!!!!! (Glad you found us, Yonas)

He introduced himself to us ~ Yonas. ("Hi, Yonas!!!!! We know you will be reading this!!!!!") Yonas became a very good friend during our six days in ET. He is AMAZING!!!!!!

And that is the end of our "Traveling to Ethiopia" adventure. It's on to "Day #1"

Maya Kisanet Joy Maxwell

We would like to introduce you to our daughter, 

Maya Kisanet Joy Maxwell.

We passed the Ethiopian court process on Tuesday, August 14th, and Maya K became legally our daughter!!!!

Praise the Lord for His goodness!!!!

Trip to Makele

Nate ~ Opening disclaimer: I am going to share some information here about Maya K's birth family. However, it will be limited. Once we see you, you are welcome to ask for more information if you would like. However, please be aware that you will most likely be told, "You can ask Maya K that when she is older." This is her family history. We intend to be very open with her about it, but it is still hers and it is her story to tell. Right now, she is too young for some of the information and we have a language barrier to breach. In time, as you develop a relationship with Maya K, she will be welcome to and may enjoy telling you about her birth family. As her father, I'm just asking you to respect our wishes for her and be understanding if we are not as open as you might like. :o) Thanks everyone.

The trip to Makele (or Makale or Makelle....depending on where you see it) was really, really good. There have been many times this week that I have been nervous or apprehensive about what we were going to be doing. Meeting Maya K the first time, going to court, going to a traditional dinner in Ethiopia, even taking an international flight for the first time. However, in the back of my mind has always been this trip. I was praying we would pass court when we were there Tuesday morning and, by God's grace, we did. However, that meant that I was about to meet the birth father of the beautiful girl that was now my daughter. How was I going to feel? How was he going to feel? Would I look down on him for having to give up his daughter? Would I even understand why he did? Would I be able to face him with these questions? As one father to another, what "relationship" would we have in this short amount of time? It's funny. With all these questions, I had more peace this morning than I have felt all week and I had a great sense of "closure" after the meeting.

We flew into Makele last night (Tuesday night). It was a short flight from Addis to Makele, just over an hour. It would be similar to the flight from Des Moines to O'Hare in Chicago. The plane was no smaller than a similar short trip in the states. With Yonas as our guide, we had a breeze through the airport and into Makele. (I know you will read this, so thank you Yonas.) We were met by the social worker (Gary) from the orphanage as well as another one of the founders of the Bana orphanage who was our driver while in Makele. (Note: at this point, the driver and Gary speak Tigrinya and Amharic. Yonas speaks Amharic and English. So, most of our conversations at this point had a multi-step process) We then had dinner and went to bed.

This morning (Wednesday) we got up for breakfast but Pam and weren't hungry so we just had granola bars in our room. The plan was to go to the Bana orphanage (where Maya K spent about a month and a half), then we would meet the birth parents (we were there with two other wonderful families whose child(ren) had come from the same orphanage) at the orphanage. One thing I love about Ethiopia is the need to adapt. :o)

As a side note, Pam and I were talking last night and we realized as we came into Makele that we would really like to see the home that Maya K had lived in. She was there until she was 5 and will have memories of it as she grows older. We wanted photos, etc. We had talked about it but hadn't mentioned it yet.

So, after breakfast, we loaded in the van and Yonas then told us that the social worker had just explained that Maya K's birth dad was at work. We were on our way to pick him up, take him to his house and have our meeting with him. Wow. What an answer to prayer. So, we really didn't have much time to get nervous. We stopped by his place of work, drove to his house and got out. Gary, Yonas, Maya K's birth dad, Pam and myself all got out and went to the house.

We actually stepped into an open courtyard. I won't describe all of this in detail right now. I'm getting too long winded (this started as a re-cap....) and we have pictures but those will be Maya K's for now. We will let her decide on those later.

The only room was small. It had a bed, a bench, and enough space for Yonas to sit for our interview. I will simply say that for my American mind, it was small for a one-person room. This was the only room of the house. The only place with a covered roof when it rains. The only bed to sleep on. For now, we are not saying how many people lived there, but I will tell you that it blew my mind. I instantly had a new awareness about Maya K's father.

We asked if we could video tape and we were told that was OK. We were so blessed because we could ask all of the questions that we had thought through ahead of time. I didn't think we would, but we did and it was great. We had a list of over 20 questions from family medical history, to her birth father's childhood, to Maya K's childhood. Plus more, but we aren't sharing all of that. Again, this is a lot of information that is Maya K's. It will be her decision to share when she is older if she would like to.

Pam had impressions about the meeting that she will share later, when we are home. I want to just say how much I respect and even love Maya K's father. Some day I may share with you the reasons for that, but I want to tell you what we told him through the interpreters. We will honor him as Maya K's birth father and we will teach her about him as she grows up. She will know that her father never abandoned her and never even considered it. He has done what is best for her in every area and we love him for that and will honor him in that.

Three things to close.

1.When we asked if Maya K's father had any questions for us, one of the things that he told us was that he was happy that we were going to take care of Maya K as he could not afford to, and he is now going to consider us as family. Again. The respect that I have for this man is immense. I don't know what I would be feeling in this moment if I was in his shoes, but by this point, I felt honored to be in mine.

2. Maya K's father invited us, in the future, to come to his home so that he can host us there. I pray with all of my heart that we can do this. I would give so much to be able to honor that request/offer of hospitality. If it is in my power to do, we will be back in Ethiopia, some years down the road, for a family reunion.

3. Lastly. What does Kisanet mean? We wanted to know. However, she is from a region that speaks Tigrinya and those who speak Amharic do not know the name. So we asked. Her father said that when her mother was pregnant with Kisanet, she was very sick, but when Kisanet was born, she was healthy. So, her name, Kisanet, carries the idea of something good coming from something not good.

Thoughts #1

When we get home, we are going to work on doing a post of each day that we are in Ethiopia. This is just a quick post on some of our thoughts up until this point.

Pam ~ I'm in Ethiopia. I've met my daughter. The little girl who has already changed my life. A strong-willed, affectionate, playful, FAST, sparkling, smart, beautiful child who has stolen my heart.

Our trip to get to ET was very long and tiring. We arrived in ET having just been in an airplane for 13 1/2 hours and not been able to sleep. We were able to get our stuff brought in to the guest house where we are staying and had about an hour and a half to "freshen up". Then it was time to meet the other adoptive families who are in country and go to lunch.

I wasn't hungry. I ordered a cup of tomato soup but was only able to eat a few bites. My stomach was in knots and I was soooooo nervous and tired. I kept waiting for that adrenalin to kick in.

We went from lunch straight to the transition home where we were the third of four families to meet our daughter.

Love. that. girl. to. pieces.

She came right to us and I tried to not cry as I scooped her into my arms for a hug. She was wearing the shirt we had sent her and had the photo book we made for her in her hands.

More to come on day #1.........

Today (day #2 in ET). Our daughter met the van as it pulled into the TH yard and grinned as she looked up at each window to see if she could find us. We grinned and waved and she was waiting by the door as we got out.

We had a fantastic afternoon together.

Then it was time to leave. We thought. But then we found out that we were taking "K" with us as we walked down the street to the older child transition home where "K" actually lives. Her face was VERY serious as Nathan carried her down the road and she wouldn't smile.

We got to see the room and bed where "K" sleeps and she started crying. And then I started crying. And then Nathan started crying.

I don't think I will ever fully be able to explain the look that was in my daughter's eyes as we took her into the home where she lives. The sadness, the fear, the panic, the PAIN. I'm starting to cry again as I type this. I took a picture of her face and it is NOT a face I EVER want to see on my daughter again.

Needless to say, leaving her was HARD. She clung to me and just sobbed. I was trying sooooooo hard to not cry, but as I set her down, told her that mommy loves her very much, and walked away (I didn't let myself look back) I lost it. The tears started and I don't know if I will really get them to stop or go away until I have my little girl in my arms FOREVER!!!!!!!

Nate ~ Well. I just read Pam's part and I'm crying again. When Pam says a long flight...she is under-stating what 13.5 hours on a plane really means. Those of you that have done it know, but there is a special mental pain that begins for people like me when we sit that long...and no. getting up to walk down a plane aisle full of people doesn't really help.

When we went to lunch, I ordered vegetable soup. However, I also had no appetite and only had a few more bites than Pam. I felt completely sick with nerves. What will we do? What will she do? What will she think? Will I ever be a good daddy to this little girl? Will we love her? Will she love us? Admittedly, I was terrified. In the end, it went well. She was hesitant at first but warmed up to us. She connected with both of us very quickly...OK. This is summary only. I have lots more to say about this day, but I'll wait until there is time to be thorough.

Today started with a service at IEC, the local Evangelical church that we attended. I won't say much here, but it was not like the services back home, but I could get used to it none-the-less! Today with the kids was much harder. Not just with "K" but with all the children. Yesterday, she cried when we left, but that seemed to be more because we were taking the things with us. Today, it was definitely because we were leaving. That was very hard and my heart broke for my daughter. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew that I had too.....Pam's has recapped that already and I'll talk more about it later. What also struck me today was how many wonderful children are here. For them to be at our agency's transition home, they either have a family that can't bring them home yet (waiting on paperwork) or they have not been referred out yet (most likely, waiting on paper work), or they are on the waiting child list. You can't imagine the smiles on these kids faces. They just want to be loved and cared for by a family. There is a longing in their eyes that I can't explain. The kids that would look at us while we played with "K"....and my heart broke again. It just hurts to see such a need and not be able to help them in some way....so I'm helping them, by asking you to pray for them. Pray for paperwork to move and God to move in the hearts and lives of the forever families that He has picked out for them.

We miss you guys....though we wouldn't leave without "K" if it was possible. We will be home in under a week and will try to get our thoughts completely down as soon as we can so we don't lose them. Thank you for praying and loving from a distance.

We Received A Court Date!!!

Pam ~ Yesterday, we received the phone call we have been waiting for the past few weeks!!!! Nathan and I have a court date scheduled in Ethiopia on Tuesday, August 14th. Praise the Lord!!!!

We have to arrive in Ethiopia no later than Saturday, August 11th, in order that we can spend time with our daughter before attending our court appointment, so we need to leave Des Moines on either the 9th or 10th. Our travel plans have just clicked into high gear. There is a lot to get done in just one week!!!!

I thought it might be helpful to explain a little about what we will be doing during this first trip to ET (at least, I'll try to explain as best as I know!!!)

The purpose of this trip is to meet our daughter and then to appear before an ET court judge, tell the judge that we have met our daughter and spent time with her, and that we do want to adopt her. The judge will then ask us some questions. There is a lot of paperwork that has to be completed by the time of our court date (a lot of it is paperwork that the ET government is responsible for and nothing that WE can help with) and if all that paperwork is ready and in order, then at the end of our meeting with the judge we will be told that we have passed and that "K" is now legally our daughter!!!! However, if ANY of the paperwork is missing, we will be told that we have not yet passed and "K"'s paperwork will need to be completed. This DOES happen, so we are already praying that God will see fit to have all the paperwork there on time!!!!

(Our court appointment will most likely be during the morning of the 14th. Because ET is eight hours ahead of us here in Iowa, please be praying as you go to bed on Monday night, the 13th, and/or if you wake up during the night.)

Regardless of whether we do or do not pass court on the 14th, we will not be able to bring "K" home with us :-(. Once we have passed court, paperwork has to be filed with the US Embassy and "K" will have to first be "submitted to Embassy" and then "clear Embassy" before we will be able to make our second trip to ET and bring her home. This second trip will be anywhere from 4-16 weeks after we pass court.

While we are in ET, we will be visiting some of the government-run orphanages, trying to see some of the cultural places in the capital city, doing a little shopping, making a long day trip to see the orphanage that "K" was originally brought to, meeting with "K"'s living birth parent, and spending as much time as we can with our daughter!!!! It will be a busy trip!!!!

Prayer Requests:
  * That travel arrangements will go smoothly and that we will get a good price on tickets. They are currently ranging from $2,000-$3,000 per ticket.
  * For peace of mind as I gather what we need to take and then pack it all
  * For the Ethiopian government and our adoption agency as they work on gathering the needed paperwork (it's a little hard to explain, but there are a couple of VERY important things that need to happen on August 7th, so please be praying on the 6th and 7th!!!!)
  * For Nathan and I as we prepare to meet our daughter and as we prepare to become parents!!!!

I hope that I have been able to explain all of this clearly!!!! Please feel free to comment and ask any questions you might have!!!! We are so very thankful for all of you readers who have been praying for us and encouraging us through our adoption journey!!!!

Fundraising Finale

Pam ~ We are still a couple thousand dollars short of what we are estimating that we will need for all of our travel expenses, so we still have a few fundraisers that you can participate in to help with our expenses. We are nearing the end of this long journey to our daughter!!!!

Pampered Chef ~ This is only an option until 9 p.m. (CST) tonight!!!! Go to www.PamperedChef.biz/DrucksKitchen and click on "shop online". Enter "Maxwell" for the first name and "Adoption" for the last name. We will receive 15% of your order to put toward our adoption travel expenses.

Soda Cans/Bottles ~ We are still accepting donations of your soda cans/bottles. We will recycle them and put the redemption money towards our travel expenses.

Photo Scanning ~ I will take your old photos and scan them onto a CD so that you have a digital copy of all your memories. Click HERE for more information.

Handmade Birthday Cards ~ We still have lots of special handmade birthday cards available for purchase. Click HERE for more information and for photos of the cards that are still available.

Just Love Coffee ~ We receive $5 for every bag of coffee purchased from our store. Click HERE to go to our Just Love Coffee store to buy some extra yummy coffee AND help us with our travel expenses!!!!

One Month "Referralversary"

Pam ~ It's been one month since we received our referral for our daughter "K" and one month since we first saw her beautiful face!!!! In some ways it seems like its been longer than a month, but in other ways the time has gone by quickly.

We are still waiting for our court date and we are still praying that we will be able to get a court date before the courts close on August 22nd (exactly four weeks from today). I got an e-mail from our adoption agency today that was VERY encouraging!!!!

"At this point, there is definitely still a chance you will get a court date before the closure. Your case is open and in line at court, and the court is still issuing dates.......Definitely still prepare for receiving a court date before the closure, as there is a good chance you will receive one."

I LOVED reading those words!!!!!

What are we doing to prepare to travel???  Well . . . . . . . 

Making a packing list

Finding luggage that we can borrow

Buying medicines we need to take

Praying

Finishing the required "older child adoption" training

Finding a pediatrician

Finishing the "Post Adoption Plan of Action" report

Praying

Working to empty out "K"'s bedroom

Keeping the house clean

Praying

Probably lots of other things that I am forgetting

It's a little hard to wrap my mind around the possibility that we could be in Ethiopia hugging our little girl in less than a month!!!!!!

Pampered Chef Party

Pam ~ Tomorrow I am hostessing a combined Pampered Chef / Premier Jewelry fundraising party!!!!

We are still about $3,000 short the amount we have estimated we will need to take our two trips to Ethiopia. The first trip will be to meet our little "K" and attend a court date, and the second trip will be when we get to bring our daughter HOME FOREVER!!!!!

This fundraiser is one more way that God could choose to provide some of that money. We know that GOD is the One who is providing for all of our needs throughout this long journey, so we know that He will provide in the way(s) that He chooses. But, a Pampered Chef / Premier Jewelry is FUN!!!!! So I'm excited to have a get together with friends and get to share not only my pictures of "K" but I also have a VIDEO to share now!!!!!! (So if you are in the area and want to see an ADORABLE video of my little girl, you'll have to come to the party!!!! Send me an e-mail or leave a comment if you are coming!!!!)

If you are not in the area OR simply are not able to come, you can still help us by placing a Pampered Chef order online (through Sunday).

Just go to http://www.pamperedchef.biz/DrucksKitchen, look up at the upper right corner of the page and click on "shop online", then enter in the first name "Maxwell" and the last name "Adoption" and your order will go toward my total "sales" for the party. And every order placed will help us bring our daughter home!!!!

There isn't a website for the Premier Jewelry, so if you want to place a jewelry order, you'll have to get a catalog and order form from me. But I have plenty of them, so just send me an e-mail or leave a comment and I'll get one to you (this will have to be local only).

Will you please join me in praying that God will bring in the last of the money that we need for our travel expenses?!?!?!

All Girly!!!!

Pam ~ As you can see, this blog has been made all GIRLY!!!! We don't yet know whether "K" will be a "girly-girl" or not, but it's going to stay this way for now :-).

I was able to go shopping with some of my teaching co-workers/friends this past weekend, and I "begged" Nathan on Saturday morning to be allowed to buy "just one thing!!!!" We can't purchase too much yet because we really don't know what size she is (although she looks tiny in our pictures) or what she is going to like. But I felt the need to be able to get SOMETHING in honor and excitement of seeing her face for the first time!!!!

Nathan was very happy to give me "permission" and here is what I chose. I ended up getting two things, because the necklace was cheap and really didn't even count :-)

It's funny, because I am really a PURPLE girl and don't normally gravitate towards things that are orange, but this hat and necklace just seemed perfect!!!

REFERRAL!!!!!

(Pam ~ Pink Font; Nate ~ Blue Font)


On Monday, June 25, 2012, I received the phone call that has changed our lives FOREVER!!!! We are going to be the Daddy and Mommy to a beautiful 5-year-old little girl from Ethiopia!!!! I still get this overwhelming feeling of awe and wonder and a silly grin on my face whenever I think about how perfect our daughter is :-). God is soooooooo good and we are so very blessed to be given this chance to be the parents of this special little girl!!!!!

Pam had an overwhelming feeling of awe and wonder; my feelings were much more confused. This was good because it was unexpected and we weren't dwelling on the waiting that we were going through. However, because of my job and the responsibilities that I had during the week that our call came through, I was forced to focus on my job when I was at work. That included from the moment I got the call until the end of Friday that week. Was I distracted at work? Absolutely! I didn't say I worked well, just that I had to try to focus. Because of this, my memories of the emotions are less clear in my mind than they are for Pam. I know that I felt an immediate rush, followed by an immediate thought of, "How am I going to focus on my job this week." At the same time, the excitement was there any time I wasn't at work and it was threatening to bubble over much of the time that I was at work. In fact, one day that week, I was having a very rough morning and afternoon. One of my co-workers came over to me, pointed to "K"'s picture and smiled. It was a wonderful moment. I just looked at our daughter and, while the stresses didn't disappear, they felt much lighter for that wonderful moment.

The Details
I was at home, sitting on the couch, watching the end of Dr. Phil (I don't watch him very often, but it just happened to be a day that I was). I glanced at the oven clock and saw that it was 3:55 p.m. and had the brief thought that our agency's office hours would be done in 5 minutes and went back to watching TV. At 3:58 p.m. my cell phone rang. I picked it up, glanced at the caller ID and saw "AWAA". I just stared at the phone in my hand as it rang!!!! When I finally realized that I needed to answer it, I heard the voice of our family coordinator greeting me and asking if Nate was with me.

(I won't recount the exact wording of our conversation, but I do want to write a lot of it here. I want to have these memories recorded, because although I feel right now as if I will NEVER forget these moments, I know that memories fade as time passes.)

I told Elise (our FC) that Nathan was still at work for another half hour. She then told me that she had some news for us and asked if our family "situation" was still the same (no changes in health, financial status, etc.). I told her about our decision to not have me sign a teaching contract for next school year and she asked what Nathan made. I told her I didn't know off the top of my head and she said that she would quickly check our file. Elise asked if I wanted her to try to conference call Nathan in and I said "YES" so she put me on hold while she went to check our file and call Nathan.

My heart was POUNDING and I had started to shake!!!! I was pretty sure that this was THE call, but I didn't want to be disappointed if she needed to tell us something else. I was on hold for about 5 minutes and that was a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong 5 minutes. I was praying that God would give me strength if this wasn't THE call and that I would not have any bitterness in me if there was something else happening.

Elise came back on the line and told me that she had been unable to reach Nathan. She asked if there was another number that she could try and I told her that there wasn't. I also told her that if Nathan saw a missed call on his phone and realized it was her that he would call her back. She said that she would "patch him in" if he did call back :-).

Then she told me that she had some news for us and asked if I wanted her to tell me or wait until later when she might be able to tell us together. Now I really appreciate her willingness to check and make sure, but REALLY????? Can you imagine me being able to WAIT to hear what the news was?!?! I told her that I didn't think Nathan would mind if she told me :-). I'm SO GLAD she didn't wait to hear the news. I would have minded if she HAD waited.

Then came these words.

"Well, this is your referral call."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(I didn't actually do that, but I wanted to!!!!!!)

Elise started telling me all sorts of information while I quickly tried to find a piece of paper and a pen to write down what she was telling me. I was having trouble holding the phone, holding the paper still, and gripping the pen to write, all while my hands were shaking. I pretty much didn't say ANYTHING to Elise (hopefully she knew that I was trying to listen but was a little bit in shock) and when she asked if I had any questions I told her that I was trying to write it all down but that I was so excited I didn't know how much I was getting. She told me that she would be sending an e-mail with more information, files, paperwork, and PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Telling Nathan
After I hung up with Elise, I immediately e-mailed Nathan ~ "Do you have a missed call?????? CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at 4:10 p.m.

When I hadn't received an e-mail back OR a phone call (within 60 seconds!!!), I texted him ~ CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! at 4:11 p.m.

(I was feeling a little impatient!!!!)

He called me at 4:12 p.m. and quietly said, "What's up???" I told him that our agency had called and asked him if he wanted me to tell him the news or if I should wait until he got off work in 15 minutes. I honestly don't remember much of that phone conversation. I was soooooooooooooooooooooo excited and kept staring at my computer screen watching for the e-mail that was going to show me the first pictures I would ever see of my DAUGHTER!!!!!! I do remember asking him if I could open the e-mail and see her pictures or if I should wait until he got home. (I knew that I should, and really wanted to, wait until he got home, but I just wanted to SEE HER!!!!!!) He asked me to wait and said that he had to get back to work but that he would call me as soon as he was in his car. I really wanted her to wait for me so that we could do this together.  I wanted so badly to see these pictures together; to share the moment of meeting our future daughter.

And here is what Nathan remembers from those moments.

Nathan's Memories
4:00ish. That is the time that my phone vibrated in my pocket; the first time. As I mentioned before, this was a very busy week for me at work. I had the extra responsibilities that I get about once every 6-7 weeks on a normal rotation basis and that require more focus and attention than my normal week. Due to that, I didn't even check to see who had called or texted me. Then, it vibrated again, and then, around 4:10, it vibrated a third time. Finally, I thought, "This better be important." I walked away from my desk, checked my phone and I had two text messages from a good friend of ours. As I looked at them to see what was going on, I got a text from Pam that said, "Did you get a call?  CALL ME!" As a clarification, I didn't see Pam's e-mail until later. At that point, I thought something was up, so I checked my missed calls...and I knew. I saw AWAA, I saw the "tone" of Pam's text message, and I knew. I went to a quiet room and called my wife to hear the wonderful news. What wonderful news!!!


It is hard to explain my emotions at this time. I'm a numbers guy. I'm hopeful and usually very upbeat, but deep down, I'm also a realist and a skeptic. Those things tempered my joy that day. I was VERY excited to get the referral, but I still wanted to pass court: to have an official "this can never be changed...EVER" relationship with our daughter. Remember, I was VERY excited, but still holding out as well.

Seeing HER!!!!
I'm pretty sure I squealed!!!! She is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Her smile lit up my computer screen and we were giddy as we looked at our daughter's face for the first time!!!!

And then I cried. And cried. And then cried some more.

Nathan asked "These are good tears, right?!?!"

Yes, they were good tears. Some of the best tears I have ever cried.

She "squealed" and then REALLY cried. They were good tears, but yet it was hard for me. I knew it was good, but I don't like it when my wife cries...probably because I "know" that they were good tears and not tears of pain, but I still wonder and my protective instincts kick in.


Telling Family
We had a plan of how we wanted to tell our family once we had received our referral. We wanted to make sure we told our parents first and then we wanted to tell family that are in the area in person. We set our plan in motion and it went just as we had planned it :-).

Getting to see my parents' reaction via Skype was extra-special (along with my sister Kristi!!!!) Seeing my sister Debbi come down the stairs in her painting clothes, not having ANY idea why we were there, and then breaking into tears upon seeing "K"'s face and hugging me was one our sweetest moments together. I loved seeing Debbi and Pam's moment together. It was wonderful to see the love that they share. Pam doesn't know this yet (until she reads this) but my strongest memory of this day is the moment that Debbi knew it was THE call and Pam and Debbi had their crying hug. What an amazingly loving moment between sisters. :o) (I was grateful that Doug was there too as I really wanted to share the news with both of them...and I'm glad the boys were there even though they didn't fully understand what was going on: this is just my strongest memory.)

Trying to stay calm and not give anything away while calling Nathan's sister Heidi to ask her if we could "stop by" for a just a few minutes was hard :-). Getting to share "K"'s photo with Heidi and our nephew and nieces was very sweet as they all talked about how excited they are to meet their cousin. It was also fun to be able to drive to Des Moines and show my sister, Heidi, and her 4 kids. It was fun to hear the "Awwwwwwww"'s from the kids and to see Heidi's expressions of excitement too. It was also fun to hear their excitement at having a girl cousin.


Skype. If you are further from family than a half hour or hour drive, you should get the free version. Is it perfect with wonderful quality? No. However, it is free and an amazing tool for connecting over a long distance. We were able to Skype my brother in Delaware, my in-laws in Colorado and my parents (the next morning) in Colorado as well. It was cool to be able to hold up pictures and let them see their new granddaughter (or niece).


We spent most of the evening calling family and telling them our good news. Nathan kept trying to get me to eat something for dinner, but I was just too excited to even try to think about food!!!! (He did find something to eat for himself!!!) We had a couple really close friends that we wanted to call, and then we finally posted our good news on Facebook :-).

Around 10 p.m. I told Nathan and he should really start heading for bed (he had to get up for work the next day) but that there was absolutely NO WAY that I was going to be able to sleep, so I was going to stay up a while longer. We kept getting distracted, so around 11 p.m. I finally headed upstairs with Nathan to go to bed. I didn't get to sleep until after midnight and then I woke up at 5 a.m.wide awake and ready to shout to the world that I HAVE A DAUGHTER!!!!!!!

I really have no words to even begin to express how thankful I am for everyone who has been praying for us along our journey to this point!!!!  Your prayers have encouraged, supported, and uplifted us through some very hard and discouraging times, and I want to THANK each one of you!!!!!

I also want to thank everyone for their excitement and congratulations. This is a wonderful time for us and this has been a long hard road that God has led us down, but it has been a great blessing and encouragement to have so many friends and family supporting us on that journey. God has been good to us and that includes your support, love, and prayers. Thank you!!!