Nate ~ Opening disclaimer: I am going to share some information here about Maya K's birth family. However, it will be limited. Once we see you, you are welcome to ask for more information if you would like. However, please be aware that you will most likely be told, "You can ask Maya K that when she is older." This is her family history. We intend to be very open with her about it, but it is still hers and it is her story to tell. Right now, she is too young for some of the information and we have a language barrier to breach. In time, as you develop a relationship with Maya K, she will be welcome to and may enjoy telling you about her birth family. As her father, I'm just asking you to respect our wishes for her and be understanding if we are not as open as you might like. :o) Thanks everyone.
The trip to Makele (or Makale or Makelle....depending on where you see it) was really, really good. There have been many times this week that I have been nervous or apprehensive about what we were going to be doing. Meeting Maya K the first time, going to court, going to a traditional dinner in Ethiopia, even taking an international flight for the first time. However, in the back of my mind has always been this trip. I was praying we would pass court when we were there Tuesday morning and, by God's grace, we did. However, that meant that I was about to meet the birth father of the beautiful girl that was now my daughter. How was I going to feel? How was he going to feel? Would I look down on him for having to give up his daughter? Would I even understand why he did? Would I be able to face him with these questions? As one father to another, what "relationship" would we have in this short amount of time? It's funny. With all these questions, I had more peace this morning than I have felt all week and I had a great sense of "closure" after the meeting.
We flew into Makele last night (Tuesday night). It was a short flight from Addis to Makele, just over an hour. It would be similar to the flight from Des Moines to O'Hare in Chicago. The plane was no smaller than a similar short trip in the states. With Yonas as our guide, we had a breeze through the airport and into Makele. (I know you will read this, so thank you Yonas.) We were met by the social worker (Gary) from the orphanage as well as another one of the founders of the Bana orphanage who was our driver while in Makele. (Note: at this point, the driver and Gary speak Tigrinya and Amharic. Yonas speaks Amharic and English. So, most of our conversations at this point had a multi-step process) We then had dinner and went to bed.
This morning (Wednesday) we got up for breakfast but Pam and weren't hungry so we just had granola bars in our room. The plan was to go to the Bana orphanage (where Maya K spent about a month and a half), then we would meet the birth parents (we were there with two other wonderful families whose child(ren) had come from the same orphanage) at the orphanage. One thing I love about Ethiopia is the need to adapt. :o)
As a side note, Pam and I were talking last night and we realized as we came into Makele that we would really like to see the home that Maya K had lived in. She was there until she was 5 and will have memories of it as she grows older. We wanted photos, etc. We had talked about it but hadn't mentioned it yet.
So, after breakfast, we loaded in the van and Yonas then told us that the social worker had just explained that Maya K's birth dad was at work. We were on our way to pick him up, take him to his house and have our meeting with him. Wow. What an answer to prayer. So, we really didn't have much time to get nervous. We stopped by his place of work, drove to his house and got out. Gary, Yonas, Maya K's birth dad, Pam and myself all got out and went to the house.
We actually stepped into an open courtyard. I won't describe all of this in detail right now. I'm getting too long winded (this started as a re-cap....) and we have pictures but those will be Maya K's for now. We will let her decide on those later.
The only room was small. It had a bed, a bench, and enough space for Yonas to sit for our interview. I will simply say that for my American mind, it was small for a one-person room. This was the only room of the house. The only place with a covered roof when it rains. The only bed to sleep on. For now, we are not saying how many people lived there, but I will tell you that it blew my mind. I instantly had a new awareness about Maya K's father.
We asked if we could video tape and we were told that was OK. We were so blessed because we could ask all of the questions that we had thought through ahead of time. I didn't think we would, but we did and it was great. We had a list of over 20 questions from family medical history, to her birth father's childhood, to Maya K's childhood. Plus more, but we aren't sharing all of that. Again, this is a lot of information that is Maya K's. It will be her decision to share when she is older if she would like to.
Pam had impressions about the meeting that she will share later, when we are home. I want to just say how much I respect and even love Maya K's father. Some day I may share with you the reasons for that, but I want to tell you what we told him through the interpreters. We will honor him as Maya K's birth father and we will teach her about him as she grows up. She will know that her father never abandoned her and never even considered it. He has done what is best for her in every area and we love him for that and will honor him in that.
Three things to close.
1.When we asked if Maya K's father had any questions for us, one of the things that he told us was that he was happy that we were going to take care of Maya K as he could not afford to, and he is now going to consider us as family. Again. The respect that I have for this man is immense. I don't know what I would be feeling in this moment if I was in his shoes, but by this point, I felt honored to be in mine.
2. Maya K's father invited us, in the future, to come to his home so that he can host us there. I pray with all of my heart that we can do this. I would give so much to be able to honor that request/offer of hospitality. If it is in my power to do, we will be back in Ethiopia, some years down the road, for a family reunion.
3. Lastly. What does Kisanet mean? We wanted to know. However, she is from a region that speaks Tigrinya and those who speak Amharic do not know the name. So we asked. Her father said that when her mother was pregnant with Kisanet, she was very sick, but when Kisanet was born, she was healthy. So, her name, Kisanet, carries the idea of something good coming from something not good.
The trip to Makele (or Makale or Makelle....depending on where you see it) was really, really good. There have been many times this week that I have been nervous or apprehensive about what we were going to be doing. Meeting Maya K the first time, going to court, going to a traditional dinner in Ethiopia, even taking an international flight for the first time. However, in the back of my mind has always been this trip. I was praying we would pass court when we were there Tuesday morning and, by God's grace, we did. However, that meant that I was about to meet the birth father of the beautiful girl that was now my daughter. How was I going to feel? How was he going to feel? Would I look down on him for having to give up his daughter? Would I even understand why he did? Would I be able to face him with these questions? As one father to another, what "relationship" would we have in this short amount of time? It's funny. With all these questions, I had more peace this morning than I have felt all week and I had a great sense of "closure" after the meeting.
We flew into Makele last night (Tuesday night). It was a short flight from Addis to Makele, just over an hour. It would be similar to the flight from Des Moines to O'Hare in Chicago. The plane was no smaller than a similar short trip in the states. With Yonas as our guide, we had a breeze through the airport and into Makele. (I know you will read this, so thank you Yonas.) We were met by the social worker (Gary) from the orphanage as well as another one of the founders of the Bana orphanage who was our driver while in Makele. (Note: at this point, the driver and Gary speak Tigrinya and Amharic. Yonas speaks Amharic and English. So, most of our conversations at this point had a multi-step process) We then had dinner and went to bed.
This morning (Wednesday) we got up for breakfast but Pam and weren't hungry so we just had granola bars in our room. The plan was to go to the Bana orphanage (where Maya K spent about a month and a half), then we would meet the birth parents (we were there with two other wonderful families whose child(ren) had come from the same orphanage) at the orphanage. One thing I love about Ethiopia is the need to adapt. :o)
As a side note, Pam and I were talking last night and we realized as we came into Makele that we would really like to see the home that Maya K had lived in. She was there until she was 5 and will have memories of it as she grows older. We wanted photos, etc. We had talked about it but hadn't mentioned it yet.
So, after breakfast, we loaded in the van and Yonas then told us that the social worker had just explained that Maya K's birth dad was at work. We were on our way to pick him up, take him to his house and have our meeting with him. Wow. What an answer to prayer. So, we really didn't have much time to get nervous. We stopped by his place of work, drove to his house and got out. Gary, Yonas, Maya K's birth dad, Pam and myself all got out and went to the house.
We actually stepped into an open courtyard. I won't describe all of this in detail right now. I'm getting too long winded (this started as a re-cap....) and we have pictures but those will be Maya K's for now. We will let her decide on those later.
The only room was small. It had a bed, a bench, and enough space for Yonas to sit for our interview. I will simply say that for my American mind, it was small for a one-person room. This was the only room of the house. The only place with a covered roof when it rains. The only bed to sleep on. For now, we are not saying how many people lived there, but I will tell you that it blew my mind. I instantly had a new awareness about Maya K's father.
We asked if we could video tape and we were told that was OK. We were so blessed because we could ask all of the questions that we had thought through ahead of time. I didn't think we would, but we did and it was great. We had a list of over 20 questions from family medical history, to her birth father's childhood, to Maya K's childhood. Plus more, but we aren't sharing all of that. Again, this is a lot of information that is Maya K's. It will be her decision to share when she is older if she would like to.
Pam had impressions about the meeting that she will share later, when we are home. I want to just say how much I respect and even love Maya K's father. Some day I may share with you the reasons for that, but I want to tell you what we told him through the interpreters. We will honor him as Maya K's birth father and we will teach her about him as she grows up. She will know that her father never abandoned her and never even considered it. He has done what is best for her in every area and we love him for that and will honor him in that.
Three things to close.
1.When we asked if Maya K's father had any questions for us, one of the things that he told us was that he was happy that we were going to take care of Maya K as he could not afford to, and he is now going to consider us as family. Again. The respect that I have for this man is immense. I don't know what I would be feeling in this moment if I was in his shoes, but by this point, I felt honored to be in mine.
2. Maya K's father invited us, in the future, to come to his home so that he can host us there. I pray with all of my heart that we can do this. I would give so much to be able to honor that request/offer of hospitality. If it is in my power to do, we will be back in Ethiopia, some years down the road, for a family reunion.
3. Lastly. What does Kisanet mean? We wanted to know. However, she is from a region that speaks Tigrinya and those who speak Amharic do not know the name. So we asked. Her father said that when her mother was pregnant with Kisanet, she was very sick, but when Kisanet was born, she was healthy. So, her name, Kisanet, carries the idea of something good coming from something not good.
Thank you so much for providing all this detail. I loved reading everything, even if you were long winded! I look forward to you coming back to work (even though you may not) and talking about your trip and seeing any pictures that you have not posted but are able to share.
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