Pam ~ I find my emotions ALL OVER the place lately. Most of the time I am honestly at peace with our wait. I KNOW that God's plan and time are perfect and that nothing I can do will speed up the process. One day I know that we will look back and see God's timing in all the details.
But....................having said that..............The tears catch me off guard sometimes. I think I'm doing fine, and then, all of a sudden, I feel ready to have a complete melt-down. {The last HUGE melt-down occurred at school. In the middle of the day. Not a good place/time. Oh well. My co-workers told me they understand. I'll choose to believe them. And not think about what a mess I was. And my red swollen face. I digress.}
Sometimes it's just the little things. Holding a baby. Listening to my pastor use a newborn baby as a sermon illustration. Reading Isaiah 40:31. Walking by the children's clothing section in WalMart. Reading an encouraging e-mail from one of my student's parents. Getting a hug from a friend. Going to a wedding. Watching NCIS {that
should not be making me cry!!!!}.
And so the list goes. I have heard other adoptive mamas talk about "adoption hormones". I have even joked about them myself. But, as each new day comes and we are still waiting, I find myself more and more emotional.
I can't wait for the day that my tears flow as I stare at a picture on the computer screen. A picture that will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life. The day that I finally get to see my child(ren)'s face(s).
{I'm tearing up as I type this. Trying to not have another melt-down at school.}
