All Girly!!!!

Pam ~ As you can see, this blog has been made all GIRLY!!!! We don't yet know whether "K" will be a "girly-girl" or not, but it's going to stay this way for now :-).

I was able to go shopping with some of my teaching co-workers/friends this past weekend, and I "begged" Nathan on Saturday morning to be allowed to buy "just one thing!!!!" We can't purchase too much yet because we really don't know what size she is (although she looks tiny in our pictures) or what she is going to like. But I felt the need to be able to get SOMETHING in honor and excitement of seeing her face for the first time!!!!

Nathan was very happy to give me "permission" and here is what I chose. I ended up getting two things, because the necklace was cheap and really didn't even count :-)

It's funny, because I am really a PURPLE girl and don't normally gravitate towards things that are orange, but this hat and necklace just seemed perfect!!!

REFERRAL!!!!!

(Pam ~ Pink Font; Nate ~ Blue Font)


On Monday, June 25, 2012, I received the phone call that has changed our lives FOREVER!!!! We are going to be the Daddy and Mommy to a beautiful 5-year-old little girl from Ethiopia!!!! I still get this overwhelming feeling of awe and wonder and a silly grin on my face whenever I think about how perfect our daughter is :-). God is soooooooo good and we are so very blessed to be given this chance to be the parents of this special little girl!!!!!

Pam had an overwhelming feeling of awe and wonder; my feelings were much more confused. This was good because it was unexpected and we weren't dwelling on the waiting that we were going through. However, because of my job and the responsibilities that I had during the week that our call came through, I was forced to focus on my job when I was at work. That included from the moment I got the call until the end of Friday that week. Was I distracted at work? Absolutely! I didn't say I worked well, just that I had to try to focus. Because of this, my memories of the emotions are less clear in my mind than they are for Pam. I know that I felt an immediate rush, followed by an immediate thought of, "How am I going to focus on my job this week." At the same time, the excitement was there any time I wasn't at work and it was threatening to bubble over much of the time that I was at work. In fact, one day that week, I was having a very rough morning and afternoon. One of my co-workers came over to me, pointed to "K"'s picture and smiled. It was a wonderful moment. I just looked at our daughter and, while the stresses didn't disappear, they felt much lighter for that wonderful moment.

The Details
I was at home, sitting on the couch, watching the end of Dr. Phil (I don't watch him very often, but it just happened to be a day that I was). I glanced at the oven clock and saw that it was 3:55 p.m. and had the brief thought that our agency's office hours would be done in 5 minutes and went back to watching TV. At 3:58 p.m. my cell phone rang. I picked it up, glanced at the caller ID and saw "AWAA". I just stared at the phone in my hand as it rang!!!! When I finally realized that I needed to answer it, I heard the voice of our family coordinator greeting me and asking if Nate was with me.

(I won't recount the exact wording of our conversation, but I do want to write a lot of it here. I want to have these memories recorded, because although I feel right now as if I will NEVER forget these moments, I know that memories fade as time passes.)

I told Elise (our FC) that Nathan was still at work for another half hour. She then told me that she had some news for us and asked if our family "situation" was still the same (no changes in health, financial status, etc.). I told her about our decision to not have me sign a teaching contract for next school year and she asked what Nathan made. I told her I didn't know off the top of my head and she said that she would quickly check our file. Elise asked if I wanted her to try to conference call Nathan in and I said "YES" so she put me on hold while she went to check our file and call Nathan.

My heart was POUNDING and I had started to shake!!!! I was pretty sure that this was THE call, but I didn't want to be disappointed if she needed to tell us something else. I was on hold for about 5 minutes and that was a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong 5 minutes. I was praying that God would give me strength if this wasn't THE call and that I would not have any bitterness in me if there was something else happening.

Elise came back on the line and told me that she had been unable to reach Nathan. She asked if there was another number that she could try and I told her that there wasn't. I also told her that if Nathan saw a missed call on his phone and realized it was her that he would call her back. She said that she would "patch him in" if he did call back :-).

Then she told me that she had some news for us and asked if I wanted her to tell me or wait until later when she might be able to tell us together. Now I really appreciate her willingness to check and make sure, but REALLY????? Can you imagine me being able to WAIT to hear what the news was?!?! I told her that I didn't think Nathan would mind if she told me :-). I'm SO GLAD she didn't wait to hear the news. I would have minded if she HAD waited.

Then came these words.

"Well, this is your referral call."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(I didn't actually do that, but I wanted to!!!!!!)

Elise started telling me all sorts of information while I quickly tried to find a piece of paper and a pen to write down what she was telling me. I was having trouble holding the phone, holding the paper still, and gripping the pen to write, all while my hands were shaking. I pretty much didn't say ANYTHING to Elise (hopefully she knew that I was trying to listen but was a little bit in shock) and when she asked if I had any questions I told her that I was trying to write it all down but that I was so excited I didn't know how much I was getting. She told me that she would be sending an e-mail with more information, files, paperwork, and PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Telling Nathan
After I hung up with Elise, I immediately e-mailed Nathan ~ "Do you have a missed call?????? CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at 4:10 p.m.

When I hadn't received an e-mail back OR a phone call (within 60 seconds!!!), I texted him ~ CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! at 4:11 p.m.

(I was feeling a little impatient!!!!)

He called me at 4:12 p.m. and quietly said, "What's up???" I told him that our agency had called and asked him if he wanted me to tell him the news or if I should wait until he got off work in 15 minutes. I honestly don't remember much of that phone conversation. I was soooooooooooooooooooooo excited and kept staring at my computer screen watching for the e-mail that was going to show me the first pictures I would ever see of my DAUGHTER!!!!!! I do remember asking him if I could open the e-mail and see her pictures or if I should wait until he got home. (I knew that I should, and really wanted to, wait until he got home, but I just wanted to SEE HER!!!!!!) He asked me to wait and said that he had to get back to work but that he would call me as soon as he was in his car. I really wanted her to wait for me so that we could do this together.  I wanted so badly to see these pictures together; to share the moment of meeting our future daughter.

And here is what Nathan remembers from those moments.

Nathan's Memories
4:00ish. That is the time that my phone vibrated in my pocket; the first time. As I mentioned before, this was a very busy week for me at work. I had the extra responsibilities that I get about once every 6-7 weeks on a normal rotation basis and that require more focus and attention than my normal week. Due to that, I didn't even check to see who had called or texted me. Then, it vibrated again, and then, around 4:10, it vibrated a third time. Finally, I thought, "This better be important." I walked away from my desk, checked my phone and I had two text messages from a good friend of ours. As I looked at them to see what was going on, I got a text from Pam that said, "Did you get a call?  CALL ME!" As a clarification, I didn't see Pam's e-mail until later. At that point, I thought something was up, so I checked my missed calls...and I knew. I saw AWAA, I saw the "tone" of Pam's text message, and I knew. I went to a quiet room and called my wife to hear the wonderful news. What wonderful news!!!


It is hard to explain my emotions at this time. I'm a numbers guy. I'm hopeful and usually very upbeat, but deep down, I'm also a realist and a skeptic. Those things tempered my joy that day. I was VERY excited to get the referral, but I still wanted to pass court: to have an official "this can never be changed...EVER" relationship with our daughter. Remember, I was VERY excited, but still holding out as well.

Seeing HER!!!!
I'm pretty sure I squealed!!!! She is BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Her smile lit up my computer screen and we were giddy as we looked at our daughter's face for the first time!!!!

And then I cried. And cried. And then cried some more.

Nathan asked "These are good tears, right?!?!"

Yes, they were good tears. Some of the best tears I have ever cried.

She "squealed" and then REALLY cried. They were good tears, but yet it was hard for me. I knew it was good, but I don't like it when my wife cries...probably because I "know" that they were good tears and not tears of pain, but I still wonder and my protective instincts kick in.


Telling Family
We had a plan of how we wanted to tell our family once we had received our referral. We wanted to make sure we told our parents first and then we wanted to tell family that are in the area in person. We set our plan in motion and it went just as we had planned it :-).

Getting to see my parents' reaction via Skype was extra-special (along with my sister Kristi!!!!) Seeing my sister Debbi come down the stairs in her painting clothes, not having ANY idea why we were there, and then breaking into tears upon seeing "K"'s face and hugging me was one our sweetest moments together. I loved seeing Debbi and Pam's moment together. It was wonderful to see the love that they share. Pam doesn't know this yet (until she reads this) but my strongest memory of this day is the moment that Debbi knew it was THE call and Pam and Debbi had their crying hug. What an amazingly loving moment between sisters. :o) (I was grateful that Doug was there too as I really wanted to share the news with both of them...and I'm glad the boys were there even though they didn't fully understand what was going on: this is just my strongest memory.)

Trying to stay calm and not give anything away while calling Nathan's sister Heidi to ask her if we could "stop by" for a just a few minutes was hard :-). Getting to share "K"'s photo with Heidi and our nephew and nieces was very sweet as they all talked about how excited they are to meet their cousin. It was also fun to be able to drive to Des Moines and show my sister, Heidi, and her 4 kids. It was fun to hear the "Awwwwwwww"'s from the kids and to see Heidi's expressions of excitement too. It was also fun to hear their excitement at having a girl cousin.


Skype. If you are further from family than a half hour or hour drive, you should get the free version. Is it perfect with wonderful quality? No. However, it is free and an amazing tool for connecting over a long distance. We were able to Skype my brother in Delaware, my in-laws in Colorado and my parents (the next morning) in Colorado as well. It was cool to be able to hold up pictures and let them see their new granddaughter (or niece).


We spent most of the evening calling family and telling them our good news. Nathan kept trying to get me to eat something for dinner, but I was just too excited to even try to think about food!!!! (He did find something to eat for himself!!!) We had a couple really close friends that we wanted to call, and then we finally posted our good news on Facebook :-).

Around 10 p.m. I told Nathan and he should really start heading for bed (he had to get up for work the next day) but that there was absolutely NO WAY that I was going to be able to sleep, so I was going to stay up a while longer. We kept getting distracted, so around 11 p.m. I finally headed upstairs with Nathan to go to bed. I didn't get to sleep until after midnight and then I woke up at 5 a.m.wide awake and ready to shout to the world that I HAVE A DAUGHTER!!!!!!!

I really have no words to even begin to express how thankful I am for everyone who has been praying for us along our journey to this point!!!!  Your prayers have encouraged, supported, and uplifted us through some very hard and discouraging times, and I want to THANK each one of you!!!!!

I also want to thank everyone for their excitement and congratulations. This is a wonderful time for us and this has been a long hard road that God has led us down, but it has been a great blessing and encouragement to have so many friends and family supporting us on that journey. God has been good to us and that includes your support, love, and prayers. Thank you!!!

18 Months DTE

We have a couple changes in our numbers this month.  Up and Down.  We are encouraged that there have been a few referrals given over the past month, and one of these days it will be OUR turn!!!!!

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-yrs and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months

Siblings 0-4 years

Adoption Updates

Pam ~ I thought that it was probably about time that I give you a few adoption updates :-).

I-171H ~ Our I-171H expired on May 22nd.  This is the document that we received from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) basically giving us permission to bring a child or children into the U.S.  It is a VERY important part of our paperwork and has to remain current until the moment that our child(ren) step onto U.S. soil.  We knew that the expiration date was approaching so we started the process to fill out the paperwork needed to update the document the beginning of last March.  However, we ran into a couple of "snags" and were unable to finish the paperwork.

Fast forward to the end of April.  We NEEDED to get the paperwork submitted, so I finally got busy working to get everything corrected.  It was a headache, but we have an AWESOME social worker and family coordinator at our agency, and they worked together with me to figure out a solution to our problem.

We mailed our paperwork on April 24, and sat back to wait for our updated I-171H to arrive in the mail.

We waited and waited and waited and waited.  I have to admit that once May 22nd (the expiration date) came and went and we STILL did not have our updated document, I began to really worry.  I finally e-mailed our family coordinator and asked her what we should do.  But she was out of the office for a few days, then a weekend, and I finally heard from her this past Monday.  She told me not to worry and then gave me a phone number that I could call to find out the status of our "application."  I came home..............

AND IT WAS IN OUR MAILBOX!!!!!!!!!

This simple, one-page document is ESSENTIAL to our adoption process and it finally came.

We scanned it last night so that I can e-mail it to our family coordinator and have her check it to make sure it is accurate.  And then, as I carefully put the paper in a page protector, I saw it.

They made a typo on one of the dates.

I don't know what will have to be done to fix it, but it probably will take a little more time, effort, and, unfortunately, worry from me.  But I know that God IS good and we WILL get it fixed.

Referrals ~ There have been a few referrals given over the past few weeks and that is always SUPER exciting as it means things are moving over in Ethiopia!!!!  Our day will come!!!!!

The Waiting ~ The waiting is HARD!!!!  When people ask us how the adoption is going (and we LOVE having people ask!!!) all we really can say is "We're just waiting."  We have been waiting for a phone call for a long time now, and we are really and truly at the point where we could get a call any day!!!!!  But we could also still be waiting for many more months.  Only God knows.

We have taken a step out in faith and I have not signed a teaching contract for next school year.  I hope to write more about that in the next couple of days, so stay tuned :-).

Please keep praying.  For us, yet.  But even more importantly, please be praying for our child(ren) in Ethiopia.  That God would have them held safely and securely in HIS arms and that they would feel HIS love and protection!!!!!

17 Months DTE

I'm a few days late with this DTE post.  Our DTE-versary was last Thursday (the 24th), but that was the same day as my last day of school with my students and our graduation program in the evening.  I was a little busy!!! :-)

Our numbers are currently holding steady.  We haven't moved up or down the unofficial list the past month.

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-years and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months

Siblings 0-4 years

Mother's Day Sadness

Pam ~ I have been arguing with myself all week about whether or not I would/should do a post about Mother's Day.  As I'm typing this, I'm still trying to decide if I'll actually "publish" it or not.  I feel a need to share my heart and emotions right now, but I don't want to upset or "offend" anyone by what I say.

This Sunday will be the eighth Mother's Day that has come in the almost 8 years that Nathan and I have been married.  The first two or three were fine.  I bought cards for our moms, went to the mother/daughter "activities" that our church had (you don't have to go as a mother/daughter pair; all women are welcome) and attended church with my mind on how thankful I was for my mom.

Then there was a shift.  I wanted to be a mom.  I wanted to celebrate this day with little ones around my feet and in my arms.  Mother's Day became a little more emotional. 

It didn't help that I was receiving comments from people - "Why don't you have any kids yet?"  "Since you don't want to have any kids......"  (Where did they get THAT idea from?????)  "Don't you know that children are a blessing?"  (YES!!!!!!!)

Mother's Day #6 (May of 2010) was the hardest one up to that point.  I didn't feel like going to church and putting on a happy face and pretending that everything was fine.  But my parents were visiting and it seemed like the right thing to do - go to church with my mom on Mother's Day.

Our church passes out little "gifts" to moms on Mother's Day (and to dads on Father's Day).  That year (Mother's Day #6), I was approached by one of the church men who was passing out these gifts.  He held it out to me and then quickly pulled it away as he said, "Oh yeah.  You're not a mom."

Yeah.  Thanks for reminding me.  I might have forgotten.  (sarcasm intended)

I know that he didn't mean anything by it.  But OUCH!!!!!  It really hurt.

Last year (Mother's Day #7), I made it to church, but put a warning out there on Facebook that I didn't want any "sympathetic" looks or I just might punch someone or something.  I made it through the day again.  (Last minute - literally as we were walking out of the church - our pastor's wife asked if I had gotten the little gift, which I hadn't, and said "Well, you're a mom.  Your kids just aren't here yet." and she gave me one!!!  I really appreciated her looking at it in that way!!!!)

My sister has been fantastic in giving me a Mother's Day card the past few years.  She knows what it is like to wait for many years to become a Mom.

And for me, it's not really even in the wanting to be "recognized" as already being a mom.  It's about missing my KIDS and wanting to have them here with me!!!!  I don't want to be recognized as being a mom.  I want to BE A MOM!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I'm going to make it this year.  Is that wrong of me?????  I just don't think that I'll be able to hold it together.

Faith and Grace Quilts are FINISHED!!!

Pam ~ You may remember way back in November 2010 when I told you about a new fundraiser that my friend Karen had started for us.  Karen started asking people to sponsor a quilt block and she would put together two quilts made up of the sponsored blocks with the money going towards our adoption expenses.  I was so excited about the idea and posted about it on this blog and on Facebook.

A few blocks were sponsored fairly quickly, but then it seemed to "stagnate" some.  Karen started a blog page devoted to this fundraiser and I posted about it on Facebook a few times, but it was still slow.

Then, this past February, Karen told me that a SIXTEEN blocks had been sponsored and I discovered that a friend in Colorado (Nikki) had felt burdened to share our quilt fundraiser with her church (which also happens to be my husband's home church and the church that my in-laws still attend) and many people had decided to "pitch in" and sponsor a quilt block :-)

I cried.

And then I cried some more.

It was super special to have someone do something like that for us!!!

And so my friend Karen has been faithfully posting pictures on the quilt blog and keeping everyone updated as to the progress of the quilts.

Guess what????

They are DONE!!!!!!!

And Karen, who lives several states away, and who I have only seen a couple times in the past probably eight years, is coming to visit this week!!!!!!  She is actually coming to attend the Seminary graduation of her brother (whose family are close friends of ours), but she is bringing the quilts and I'm looking forward to giving her a GINORMOUS hug!!!!!!

They look pretty great in the pictures, but I CAN'T WAIT to see them in person!!!!!!

New/LAST Goal ~ Trip #2

Pam ~ We have just one more financial goal to achieve on this crazy adoption journey we have been on.  It has been pretty amazing to see how God has provided for each of our financial "goals".  And now we are eager to see how He will provide again :-).

I want to again mention that we are estimating how much money we will need for each of these trips.  The cost will vary depending on what time of year we travel, if we are bringing home one or two children, how long we stay in Ethiopia, etc.  I have taken the estimates that our agency has given us and estimated on the high side in each area.  I would rather have a little money left over at the end to put toward buying donations for the orphanages in Ethiopia :-), than to not have the money we need to purchase our tickets.

Here is the estimated break-down of costs for Trip #2.

Airfare (2 adults) ~ varies ~ $4,000
In-Country Travel Package (2 adults) ~ varies ~ $2,000 estimate (as with our first trip, this amount will cover our housing, transportation, food, etc. for the time we are in Ethiopia)
Visas (2 adults) ~ $40
Airfare (2 children) ~ varies ~ $2,000
Visas/Embassy Fee (2 children) ~ $808

This brings the our new financial goal to a total of $8,848.

God has already provided over $30,000 towards our adoption via donations from friends/family, fundraisers, overtime pay, and a lot of scrimping and saving on our part :-), and we are confident in His ability to provide this last amount!!!!!!

We honestly never thought that we would still be waiting for our referral.  We officially started this journey via the "paper-chasing" part of the adoption 1 year, 10 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days ago.  That's a long time!!!  We have been on the official waiting list for 1 year, 4 months, and 4 days.  That's a long time to be waiting for a special phone call.

Thank you for all of your prayers and encouraging words!!!!  They are what is getting us through this waiting!!!!!

Trip #1 SAVED!!!!

Pam ~ After Nathan updated the budget tonight, I decided to see where our adoption savings was at because I was pretty sure that we were very close to having saved the amount we have estimated that we will need for our first trip, and, are you ready for this?????  We have $3 more than what we have estimated that we will need!!!!!!

Our Thermometer is FULL!!!!!!!!

We are praising the Lord for His faithfulness and provision!!!!!!!

Our next goal will be for our second trip to Ethiopia.  I want to "re-figure" the estimated amount (because it's been a year since I last figured the amounts) and then I will post our new and FINAL adoption financial goal!!!

16 Months DTE

DTE = Dossier To Ethiopia

wait

to remain stationary in readiness or expectation

to look forward expectantly

to be ready and available 

That is what and who we are.  Waiting.

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-years and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months

Siblings 0-4 years 

(These are our current numbers on the "unofficial" waiting list.)