Adoption Updates

Pam ~ I thought that it was probably about time that I give you a few adoption updates :-).

I-171H ~ Our I-171H expired on May 22nd.  This is the document that we received from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) basically giving us permission to bring a child or children into the U.S.  It is a VERY important part of our paperwork and has to remain current until the moment that our child(ren) step onto U.S. soil.  We knew that the expiration date was approaching so we started the process to fill out the paperwork needed to update the document the beginning of last March.  However, we ran into a couple of "snags" and were unable to finish the paperwork.

Fast forward to the end of April.  We NEEDED to get the paperwork submitted, so I finally got busy working to get everything corrected.  It was a headache, but we have an AWESOME social worker and family coordinator at our agency, and they worked together with me to figure out a solution to our problem.

We mailed our paperwork on April 24, and sat back to wait for our updated I-171H to arrive in the mail.

We waited and waited and waited and waited.  I have to admit that once May 22nd (the expiration date) came and went and we STILL did not have our updated document, I began to really worry.  I finally e-mailed our family coordinator and asked her what we should do.  But she was out of the office for a few days, then a weekend, and I finally heard from her this past Monday.  She told me not to worry and then gave me a phone number that I could call to find out the status of our "application."  I came home..............

AND IT WAS IN OUR MAILBOX!!!!!!!!!

This simple, one-page document is ESSENTIAL to our adoption process and it finally came.

We scanned it last night so that I can e-mail it to our family coordinator and have her check it to make sure it is accurate.  And then, as I carefully put the paper in a page protector, I saw it.

They made a typo on one of the dates.

I don't know what will have to be done to fix it, but it probably will take a little more time, effort, and, unfortunately, worry from me.  But I know that God IS good and we WILL get it fixed.

Referrals ~ There have been a few referrals given over the past few weeks and that is always SUPER exciting as it means things are moving over in Ethiopia!!!!  Our day will come!!!!!

The Waiting ~ The waiting is HARD!!!!  When people ask us how the adoption is going (and we LOVE having people ask!!!) all we really can say is "We're just waiting."  We have been waiting for a phone call for a long time now, and we are really and truly at the point where we could get a call any day!!!!!  But we could also still be waiting for many more months.  Only God knows.

We have taken a step out in faith and I have not signed a teaching contract for next school year.  I hope to write more about that in the next couple of days, so stay tuned :-).

Please keep praying.  For us, yet.  But even more importantly, please be praying for our child(ren) in Ethiopia.  That God would have them held safely and securely in HIS arms and that they would feel HIS love and protection!!!!!

17 Months DTE

I'm a few days late with this DTE post.  Our DTE-versary was last Thursday (the 24th), but that was the same day as my last day of school with my students and our graduation program in the evening.  I was a little busy!!! :-)

Our numbers are currently holding steady.  We haven't moved up or down the unofficial list the past month.

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-years and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months

Siblings 0-4 years

Mother's Day Sadness

Pam ~ I have been arguing with myself all week about whether or not I would/should do a post about Mother's Day.  As I'm typing this, I'm still trying to decide if I'll actually "publish" it or not.  I feel a need to share my heart and emotions right now, but I don't want to upset or "offend" anyone by what I say.

This Sunday will be the eighth Mother's Day that has come in the almost 8 years that Nathan and I have been married.  The first two or three were fine.  I bought cards for our moms, went to the mother/daughter "activities" that our church had (you don't have to go as a mother/daughter pair; all women are welcome) and attended church with my mind on how thankful I was for my mom.

Then there was a shift.  I wanted to be a mom.  I wanted to celebrate this day with little ones around my feet and in my arms.  Mother's Day became a little more emotional. 

It didn't help that I was receiving comments from people - "Why don't you have any kids yet?"  "Since you don't want to have any kids......"  (Where did they get THAT idea from?????)  "Don't you know that children are a blessing?"  (YES!!!!!!!)

Mother's Day #6 (May of 2010) was the hardest one up to that point.  I didn't feel like going to church and putting on a happy face and pretending that everything was fine.  But my parents were visiting and it seemed like the right thing to do - go to church with my mom on Mother's Day.

Our church passes out little "gifts" to moms on Mother's Day (and to dads on Father's Day).  That year (Mother's Day #6), I was approached by one of the church men who was passing out these gifts.  He held it out to me and then quickly pulled it away as he said, "Oh yeah.  You're not a mom."

Yeah.  Thanks for reminding me.  I might have forgotten.  (sarcasm intended)

I know that he didn't mean anything by it.  But OUCH!!!!!  It really hurt.

Last year (Mother's Day #7), I made it to church, but put a warning out there on Facebook that I didn't want any "sympathetic" looks or I just might punch someone or something.  I made it through the day again.  (Last minute - literally as we were walking out of the church - our pastor's wife asked if I had gotten the little gift, which I hadn't, and said "Well, you're a mom.  Your kids just aren't here yet." and she gave me one!!!  I really appreciated her looking at it in that way!!!!)

My sister has been fantastic in giving me a Mother's Day card the past few years.  She knows what it is like to wait for many years to become a Mom.

And for me, it's not really even in the wanting to be "recognized" as already being a mom.  It's about missing my KIDS and wanting to have them here with me!!!!  I don't want to be recognized as being a mom.  I want to BE A MOM!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I'm going to make it this year.  Is that wrong of me?????  I just don't think that I'll be able to hold it together.

Faith and Grace Quilts are FINISHED!!!

Pam ~ You may remember way back in November 2010 when I told you about a new fundraiser that my friend Karen had started for us.  Karen started asking people to sponsor a quilt block and she would put together two quilts made up of the sponsored blocks with the money going towards our adoption expenses.  I was so excited about the idea and posted about it on this blog and on Facebook.

A few blocks were sponsored fairly quickly, but then it seemed to "stagnate" some.  Karen started a blog page devoted to this fundraiser and I posted about it on Facebook a few times, but it was still slow.

Then, this past February, Karen told me that a SIXTEEN blocks had been sponsored and I discovered that a friend in Colorado (Nikki) had felt burdened to share our quilt fundraiser with her church (which also happens to be my husband's home church and the church that my in-laws still attend) and many people had decided to "pitch in" and sponsor a quilt block :-)

I cried.

And then I cried some more.

It was super special to have someone do something like that for us!!!

And so my friend Karen has been faithfully posting pictures on the quilt blog and keeping everyone updated as to the progress of the quilts.

Guess what????

They are DONE!!!!!!!

And Karen, who lives several states away, and who I have only seen a couple times in the past probably eight years, is coming to visit this week!!!!!!  She is actually coming to attend the Seminary graduation of her brother (whose family are close friends of ours), but she is bringing the quilts and I'm looking forward to giving her a GINORMOUS hug!!!!!!

They look pretty great in the pictures, but I CAN'T WAIT to see them in person!!!!!!

New/LAST Goal ~ Trip #2

Pam ~ We have just one more financial goal to achieve on this crazy adoption journey we have been on.  It has been pretty amazing to see how God has provided for each of our financial "goals".  And now we are eager to see how He will provide again :-).

I want to again mention that we are estimating how much money we will need for each of these trips.  The cost will vary depending on what time of year we travel, if we are bringing home one or two children, how long we stay in Ethiopia, etc.  I have taken the estimates that our agency has given us and estimated on the high side in each area.  I would rather have a little money left over at the end to put toward buying donations for the orphanages in Ethiopia :-), than to not have the money we need to purchase our tickets.

Here is the estimated break-down of costs for Trip #2.

Airfare (2 adults) ~ varies ~ $4,000
In-Country Travel Package (2 adults) ~ varies ~ $2,000 estimate (as with our first trip, this amount will cover our housing, transportation, food, etc. for the time we are in Ethiopia)
Visas (2 adults) ~ $40
Airfare (2 children) ~ varies ~ $2,000
Visas/Embassy Fee (2 children) ~ $808

This brings the our new financial goal to a total of $8,848.

God has already provided over $30,000 towards our adoption via donations from friends/family, fundraisers, overtime pay, and a lot of scrimping and saving on our part :-), and we are confident in His ability to provide this last amount!!!!!!

We honestly never thought that we would still be waiting for our referral.  We officially started this journey via the "paper-chasing" part of the adoption 1 year, 10 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days ago.  That's a long time!!!  We have been on the official waiting list for 1 year, 4 months, and 4 days.  That's a long time to be waiting for a special phone call.

Thank you for all of your prayers and encouraging words!!!!  They are what is getting us through this waiting!!!!!

Trip #1 SAVED!!!!

Pam ~ After Nathan updated the budget tonight, I decided to see where our adoption savings was at because I was pretty sure that we were very close to having saved the amount we have estimated that we will need for our first trip, and, are you ready for this?????  We have $3 more than what we have estimated that we will need!!!!!!

Our Thermometer is FULL!!!!!!!!

We are praising the Lord for His faithfulness and provision!!!!!!!

Our next goal will be for our second trip to Ethiopia.  I want to "re-figure" the estimated amount (because it's been a year since I last figured the amounts) and then I will post our new and FINAL adoption financial goal!!!

16 Months DTE

DTE = Dossier To Ethiopia

wait

to remain stationary in readiness or expectation

to look forward expectantly

to be ready and available 

That is what and who we are.  Waiting.

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-years and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months

Siblings 0-4 years 

(These are our current numbers on the "unofficial" waiting list.)

Investing In Our Future

Nate ~ You know.......I have been thinking today about investing in our futures.  Usually, you think "financial investment", and that does count.  In fact, that is an important way of investing in our future.  I was, however, also thinking of the other investments.  You know.......How did I invest in my future with Pam today?  (Did I remember to tell her I love her this morning or thank her for working on XYZ?)  How did I invest in the future of my children today?  (Did I remember to pray for them?)  How did I invest in the future of my career today?  How did I invest in the future of my (God's) ministries today?


Then it struck me.  The habits we have and the things that we do every day are either investing or making withdrawals on our future.  We are either putting things away, saving them for the future, or we are removing from our "future bank".  An example.  When I spend time on a computer game, I am not in any way investing in my future.  On the contrary, I not only lose the time I could have been investing, but I also am establishing habits for the future that may (if unchecked) take away even more from my future by not allowing me to focus on what IS important to me.  So, do I mean that if I play a game today I will neglect my wife and children tomorrow?  No.  Do I mean that if I play a game today, and tomorrow, and every other day without any checks or balances that I will neglect my wife and children in the future?  Yes.  That means that my actions that are not investing in my future, are taking an active role in withdrawing from the bank of my future.

I don't know about you, but that is both humbling and humiliating.  It shames me to see the sin that is in my life that is actively withdrawing from the futures of my wife and children for a short moment today.  How did we become so selfish that our own personal choices become more important than another person and our relationship with them?

I need to close this off, but I want to add one more thing.  If you are not sure what you "investments" are, here is a working definition from a dictionary.

An Investment: a thing that is worth buying because it will be profitable or useful in the future.

What are the things that will be important to you in 5 years, 10 years, etc?  Those are things that we cannot neglect today, or we risk emptying our account and we will not have the means to purchase them when the time comes.  Will I have that important relationship with my kids in 10 years, or will they not care what I have to say because of XYZ that seems so important today?

One Day Without Shoes

Pam ~ Tuesday, April 10th, was "One Day Without Shoes".

I had heard about this special day last year, but didn't hear about it until the DAY OF so I didn't participate.  And then it crept up on my again this year and I didn't remember until the day before!!!!  So I quickly did some research, "checked in" with my school administrator for permission, printed up info to post on the front door of the school, "talked it up" with my associate teacher, and set out on my own personal adventure of a "Day Without Shoes."

(If you want more specific info about this special day, click HERE to go to the "official" webpage.  My purpose in this post is to share MY day with you.)

The commitment that I made was to spend one day without wearing any shoes (or socks).  I was not going to "veer" from my regular schedule, but I wanted to have the opportunity to share with my co-workers, students and students' parents about the need there is world-wide for shoes.  There are people all over the world who are unable to go to school or work jobs, and who often contract one or more of the many diseases which are "caused" by bare feet.

Our weather has been unseasonably warm for most of the winter and Spring came early.  However, Tuesday morning was a cool 30* when I left home.  The quick walk to my carpool friend parked on my driveway was easy.  The drive to school left my feet cold (draft from the car door).  The walk over the gravel and COLD cement sidewalk was a little rough.  And so my day began.

I had forewarned my students' parents via e-mail that I was going to be shoe-less on Tuesday, so a few of my students came into class knowing that Mrs. Maxwell was going to be barefoot, but for the students who didn't know, it was something of a shock.

We had a very good discussion about WHY Mrs. Maxwell (and Mrs. Kaldenberg, my associate) were not wearing any shoes.  Four and five-year-olds often "get it" more quickly than many grown-ups that I know.  I shared with them that there are many boys and girls around the world who are living without ANY shoes and how we need to be praying for them and be THANKFUL for the many pairs of shoes that God has allowed us to have.  We need to be thinking of things we can do to help boys and girls around us who do not have as much as we do, and we need to NOT COMPLAIN about what we don't have.

I have shared bits and pieces about the fact that Mr. Maxwell and I are going to be adopting one or two children to come be OUR kids and that we will be their mommy and daddy to love them forever.  I shared with them that my child/ren might have lived for a while without any shoes, and I saw tears in some of my students' eyes.  They "get it".  And when one of my students was praying for snack, he prayed "God, take care of Mrs. Maxwell's kids, and help them not be cold or scared until she can go get them."  Bring on the tears!!!!!!!

So, bringing awareness to others was one reason that I chose to not wear any shoes.

The second reason, and really the biggest reason for me, that I chose to not wear shoes was to give me a physical reminder to be in prayer for MY child/ren.  Every time I took a step that hurt, or my feet were cold, or a child stepped on my foot, or my ankles ached from no support, I remembered to pray for my child/ren.  It was an incredible day :-).

I posted on Facebook and had a few friends who took the journey with me.

Tonya

Gretchen

Kristi

Karen

Heidi, Greg, Esther, Jenna, and Chloe

Grandma

15 Months DTE

Nate ~ Some of you probably noticed that this is our first post since last month's update and this is just another month update. In truth, it is hard to know what to say sometimes because we are just waiting. It's hard to describe waiting....yet, here we are. We know that God has us waiting for a reason and we are learning (patience) and growing (in patience) during this time, but it is still hard to enjoy waiting indefinitely to bring our child(ren) home. We still appreciate those of you that ask how things are going, though it is hard to answer...."we are just waiting" but that is the only honest answer that we have. 

 

"God, we know that your plan is a much larger plan than we can see. You know our hearts and our desire to have our children here with us. We know that you are their ultimate protector and provider, just as you will be once they are in our home, but you also know our desire to have them here with us. Please give us the strength we need as we flex these "faith muscles" during this waiting time and please be with our children tonight."

Thank you everyone for your love and prayers.

Siblings 0-5 years

Child 4-years and older

Boy 19-47 months

Girl 19-47 months